Accepting Happiness

You have to accept things in order to be happy. One of the biggest things you have to accept, is that if you’re not happy, it doesn’t have to be that way... but you, and only you, have the power to change your life for the better.
~Doe Zantamata

Sounds a little too simple, doesn't it?

It really doesn't have to be as difficult as we make it sometimes. Now, of course, people may say, "easier said than done." And it's not always easy, but just because it may take time and effort, it doesn't mean that it's not worth all that time and effort, or that anyone shouldn't bother trying.

A happy life is a mixture of an ongoing accomplishment and appreciation for every step of the way.

What do we really have in life? Our self-worth, our health, our relationships, our work, and our passions. That's it...but that's everything. To neglect any part of that or accept it as fine, or even less than fine, cannot result in a happy life.

Your self worth is A # 1.

If you don't even like yourself, then of course you wouldn't bother make the effort to improve your life. You just don't do nice things for people who you don't care about.

So appreciate yourself from today, on. No more self-criticism, or looking in the mirror and sneering at something that doesn't look like it should be on the front page of a fitness magazine. You are you, and you have great qualities and not so great qualities. We all say stupid things, don't beat yourself up when you do. Learn to laugh with your own foolishness, quirkiness, uniqueness. Accept yourself fully, and others will, too.

Your health is not only to reach a ripe old age of 100, but to feel good every day. Making time for walks and eatng foods that provide quality fuel for your machine will make you feel better as a whole. Walking produces endorphins, the body's "feel good" chemical, naturally. Instead of talking on the phone sitting down, walk around the block and have the same conversation. If you have a gym membership and like to read books, combine the two and walk slowly on a treadmill while reading. It makes the time pass a lot faster! Exercise, for few people, is enjoyable in itself. But many others, it's not the exercise but the way you feel afterward that is the main reward.

Your work. If you really can't stand your job, but fall into the fear that jobs are tight and you can't just up and scoot, think about this...if that company closed its door tomorrow, would you never work another day in your life? Would you never be able to find another job? Of course not. The world is more than that company. So if you've tried, but just can't be happy there, accept it for now, but actively look for something else. If anything gets on your nerves at work, just let it go, knowing that it's temporary and doesn't matter in the big picture.

Your relationships. Spouses, kids, parents, friends...our relationships are our mirrors to ourselves. If we're being treated poorly, it shows us that we need some work on our self-worth. Communicate with people when you feel mistreated, and make sure to always be honest. There may be other reasons for poor treatment besides "because they're unappreciative jerks." Maybe they're just not aware. Maybe if they were aware, they would act differently. Or maybe not, but you can't know unless you tell them honestly how you feel and what you need. Our relationships can either give us strength that we need to accomplish and be just about anything, or they can be the weight that makes us not even want to get out of bed. It's really crucial to have honest, trusting, strong relationships that are free of hurt and drama. Drama is mentally crippling, as it takes over every thought and causes so much unnecessary stress. If a relationship is broken, try to fix it. Realize you can only fix 50%. If the other 50% is unwilling or unable to do the work, too, then that relationship may bring you security, but it will not allow you happiness.

Your passion. What is your passion? What do you love doing, even if you never got paid a cent to do it, or if you actually pay to do it? Is it something creative? Or building things? Or taking things apart and putting them back together? The best use of passion is when you're able to do whatever it is for a living. Work takes up a large portion of our days and our lives, so to combine a passion with work is just the dream. But it follows more of a twisty path than just getting a job. You have to make time for your passion so that you can get really, really good at it. You can't be really good at something you ony like as an idea but never make time to do. No great golfer picks up a club one day and gets all hole in ones. It takes lots and lots of practice. Even if it's scrapbooking...there are plenty of people who loved it as a hobby, then did it a lot and realized something that was missing that everyone would like. They invented that something, then were able to still do what they love, earn a good living to support their family with it, and also give something to others who love it, too. A dream career isn't unrealistic at all, and it isn't selfish. Quite the opposite, it always has a need in it for others that you provide, and makes for one more inspiring story in the world that people can hear and cause them to go for their own dream, too.

Life is so very complicated, but it's so very simple.

We want to be happy, yet we do so many things and spend so much time with people who don't allow it. Well, you're not a pinball, bouncing around from person to place, just trying to get by as you go. You are the one in charge of your life, the moment you take responsibility for everything in it. Blame, even if it's "right" doesn't fix anything. Only responsibility and making your own changes where necessary will lead to your happiness. It won't happen overnight, and it will take a lot of courage and effort. But at the end of the day, and at the end of your life, you will look back on all the memories, decisions, and choices you made. You will say, "I built this life that I lived." The feeling you have behind that statement is what you're working on today.

Make sure it's all worth it.

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By Doe Zantamata

By Doe Zantamata

Author of "Happiness in Your Life, Book One: Karma"