Grow Together

To love someone is to grow together.

Every person is on a unique journey in life, even those who seem to be going on the same journey. Two people can see the very same thing but view it entirely differently. Communicating between two people in a serious relationship or marriage helps a lot to keep you on the same path.

Often people think they are thinking the same things then one day realize that they've totally grown apart while living under the same roof. Years of keeping quiet, thinking one thing but doing another, and wanting to keep the peace by agreeing out loud but disagreeing inside can lead ultimately to two strangers living under the same roof.

Conflict is normal. Arguments are not conflicting opinions. Arguments are only when one tries to make the other wrong and themselves right. Dealing with conflicting opinions leads to fair compromise and growth. Being able to figure out paths that work for both people can only happen when true wants and needs are communicated clearly.

Quietly putting aside one's own needs over time leads to resentment but it isn't fair. The other person likely had no idea that was happening, and it will come as an irreparable surprise to find out that's how it has always been.

The skill of conflict resolution in the home also carries on outward. If you're able to relate to a different opinion and work through it, you'll be a better coworker, boss, or employee. Patterns of thought will form that include other ways of thinking and that will ultimately benefit not only yourself but everyone you have any kind of friendship or relationship with in life.

Speak up and be heard. The more comfortable you get with speaking up and voicing your true thoughts and feelings, the less offended or emotional you'll be and the more communicative and goal oriented the discussions will become. In time you'll know your partner better, likes, dislikes, things they love and things they can't stand…and you'll be able to accept and work with them as they will with yours for the most positive outcomes possible.

Don't be afraid of differences. Discovering them means knowing yourself and your partner better. True love requires honesty and acceptance. Those can only occur when you seek to understand yourself and the other person better.

-Doe Zantamata

Author of "Happiness in Your Life - Book One: Karma"

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